You have a big decision coming up – maybe it’s a promotion, maybe it’s a job in another state, maybe it’s a move to another house. Why does it feel like it’s almost paralyzing and you aren’t sure what to do? There can be a lot of reasons but let’s talk about what I see most often and what I have experienced.
- Too many opinions. Sometimes it’s good to get advice and opinions of others. We can definitely learn from other’s experience on the same topic. But keep in mind that especially with social media, the amount of information and opinion on things can be overwhelming and people are less shy about giving their opinion. And while you can learn from others, it could be that your situation is different (even slightly) and only you know that. So, take note if you are seeking too much information or too many opinions.
- Thinking this next step is forever. This is a big one, especially in career moves. Nothing is forever. It may change or you may want it to change. And that’s OK. When you start to think about decisions in the context of “my best next step” they become a lot lighter. That’s not to say decisions don’t have consequences but try to keep perspective.
- Not having clarity on what you value most and where this decision fits. Chasing the shiny object or trying to please others often results in a decision you are unhappy with. Take the time to understand what matters most to you and where this decision fits in. A promotion offer can be hugely attractive and can make you feel great, but the 2-hour commute it comes with may not be great for your family life. Which leads me to my next point:
- Forgetting there will be other opportunities. Some decisions seem like they are now or never. And I speak from experience when I say there were always other opportunities. Remind yourself of this.
The trap that many of us (myself included) fall into is looking back on decisions that didn’t work out and forgetting that 1) we made the decision the best we could at the time and 2) we assume if this one didn’t work out, surely the other choice would have. And we don’t know that for certain. So that informs how we choose in the future as well. We don’t live in a world of absolute certainty. Try to really think about that the next time you are faced with a big choice.
If you need help on getting clear on what matters most, let’s chat!
